Thursday, December 22, 2005


Hi. As a Christmas (or holiday, I celebrate Christmas) gift to the loyal readers I have probabbly already lost because I haven't written in a loong while, I am gonna tell you my horribly sad story of a relationship... aw, !%#^&. The school website is down. I can't find that idiotic photo... :( But anyways... if I have periodic *sniffs* in between, don't mind them. But this guy's name was Ga- let's change his name to protect certian privacies. Let's call him "Roberto". No, not that. Too Mexican. Aha! "Jacob". According to a website, "Jacob" is the top Austrailian name as of 2001. Cool.

So, let's call me- let me look here a second...-"Emily". "Starchick" doesn't apply here. (FYI Emily was the top Australian name for girls as of 2001... cool.) Anywhoosies, Jacob had the HOTTEST Australian accent- *whistles*. But seriously. He was cool. Has anyone here in my loving audience heard of the White Stripes? Jacob had. And Emily immediatley fell H.O.H for him (H.O.H meaning Head Over Heels.) He was not only cool but really smart. Last year he was Student Council Vice President. I was the Runner-Up President... this year I am. He would have been proud. And he was my P.I.N.C. (P.I.N.C. meaning Partner In Newspaper-related Crimes- just reeeeeeely good stories.... we rocked together *sniff*.) Jacob had really good hair, too. It was kind of longish and blond. His two front teeth were kinda big but in a realllly cute way. He was really fast and tallish. His lips were really cute, too. And his mom was really nice. I liked Mrs. Lawton. She was really nice for a friend's mom, ya know?

So, "Jacob" and "Emily" met during.. I think we were partners in something? Can't remember. I think so. But he liked me. (As a friend, I mean.) And recently I had befriended a new girl Kristina and my clique was simply readjusting from the disruption of a new One when there was a second new One- Jacob. So we basically went into shock from the double-dose of new folks. My girlies and I somehow persevered and Kristina eventually fit the right way. But Ga-Jacob only fit my side.. or did he? Why did he fit on Kristina's side, too????? Turns out we have *similar* tastes in boys... but we are too good of pallies to break up over a stupid *boy*.

Soooo Gabe and I could chat on the phoneular unit for, like, hours on end. Just about nonsense. N-O-N-S-E-N-S-E. Funny how I never could hear that BEEP for Call Waiting. (Hoo boy. This ain't yet goin' nowhere, honey. You can go potty or get some bacon or whatever.) So anyways, by now you are most likely saying to yourself, "Why on Earth is she not with this wonderful-sounding boy I want to date but won't because 'Emily' seems soo in love with Ga-Jacob not with her and refilling the mocha latte on her desk and rubbing her feet and replenishing her really-bad pedicure and getting her another da*n cranberry bagel??? THESE THINGS ARE STALE, MR. STARBUCKS!!!!" Well, I'll explain.

Now I haven't quite cried *sniffly wiffly* yet, but now I might *sniffly miffly* start real soon. So. Going on.

You are sitting in a classroom. You are in the front row. A boy that you have a ginormus crush on is asked to perform a problem on the board. He pushes his chair in ever so daintily and walks up to the board. The Other Boy- whom we'll call Satan- is not done with the problem he is up at the board doing. The chalkboard is book style, so the boy pulls out another part of the board. And then Satan takes and pushes the chalkboard into your man's forehead!!! In your daydream, he would fall right into your arms and he would be some heroic winning war hero and you would be some sexy and beautiful war nurse and you would nurse him back to health and at the unconsious war hero would wake up and say You are my one and only. I love you and only you. Then he'd kiss you. But this is not a daydream. It is very, very, very real. He falls and the teacher escorts him to the nurse.

This is an absolutley TRUE story about why Ga-Jacob is no longer at my school. So.. thankies for listening to my stupid complaints... post comments if you want to hear who StarChick pounced on after her main loss... please?

And before I go... this is a great playlist. If you can find the songs, they all go great on one CD.

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

I Ain't Gettin' Nuttin' For Christmas

Feliz Navidad

I Want a Hippopatomus for Christmas

Snoopy's XMas

Santa Baby

All I Want For Christmas Is My 2 Front Teeth

The Baron had Snoopy dead in his sights...Prospero Anos Y Felicidad...So Hurry down the Chimney tonight...I made Tommy eat a bug, somebody snitched on me... See, my 2 Front Teeth...No crocodiles, no rinocerouses, all I want for Christmas is a Hippopotamuses, And we're all so proud of Grandpa, he's been taking this so well, See him in there watching football? Drinking beer and playing cards with Cousin Nell..


From Starchick :)

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